Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.
Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us .... except that he got caught.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills